Many moons ago I worked in a children's shelter. I worked there for
exactly three years, which is about two years and 11 months longer than
most others who worked there. It was extremely difficult, depressing,
angering, frustrating and at times miserable.
But it was also very rewarding. For a hundred kids we'd deal with, if
we could affect just one in a positive way then it was worth it. It was
one of the most intense experiences of my life. I remember some days
hating it and some days loving it. We staff were the only adults these
kids knew who were safe and reliable.
We'd get every type of child under 18 in there. We had kids who were
abused, neglected, runaways; we also had plenty of gang bangers and
juvenile delinquents - when juvenile hall got too crowded, they sent us
their spill-over.
After a kid turned 18 he'd be turned out onto the street to fend for
himself. The girls would end up getting pregnant to get government
assistance; the boys would graduate into a life of crime, drugs, get in with
his neighborhood set, or just check into the state penn for a long
visit.
In a word, it was a hopeless situation. We did what we could do there
but we couldn't save many.
There was a kid named Curtis who was going to be 18 and removed from
the system. But Curtis was different than the rest. Instead of joining
his cohorts in a life of crime when he got out, he would be enrolling in
college. Considering the circumstances, he was extraordinary. Curtis
had as horrible a history as any other child there. Yet he was unique in
that he changed his destiny unlike the others.
He told us why he was on a different path than the other kids. I don't
remember the exact words he used but he was wise beyond his years.
Paraphrasing, the gist of what he said went something like this:
"One day I saw a little tiny bit of hope that things could be better
than they seemed, and I grabbed onto it and didn't let go. That tiny hope
felt so much better than the rest of this. So I clung on hard and the
hope grew bigger and more real. And I'm never letting go."
That was one of those experiences that put things in perspective for
me. If Curtis can have such an outstanding attitude, then why can't the
rest of us? Was he being realistic even though the odds were against
him? You bet. He was more realistic than anyone because he saw his own
truth when no one else saw it in themselves.
Curtis saw the truth in himself and so can you. Hold onto hope, no
matter how small or slippery it is, and keep it close and grow it until
it's everything.
Wishing you the best,
Eddie Baran
P.S. No matter where you're at, no matter how small your belief in
yourself, take ahold of it and grow it.
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